It's not Complaining...
Someone said to me on a post once over on Facebook, “you chose to have kids, don’t complain”.
I thought.. is that what I’m doing? Complaining?
By sharing how I feel?
Does that mean I’m just resigning myself to the fact I now hate motherhood?
I love my two more than anything, infact love isn’t a strong enough word.
It’s just, not every day is sunshine and rainbows. We aren’t wearing matching outfits with a day packed full of activities and not everyone’s laughing all the time.
I had one particular day recently that hit hard. Forget all the 100 things I had to do, forget the fact that they were both screaming for me, forget the fact that food was thrown and I felt like a maid, that the couch was drawn on and we’d had a rough night.
It wasn’t even that.
I’d had some bad news over the phone and I just couldn’t gather a thought in between it all.
The not getting a second to process or a chance to compartmentalise.
O V E R W H E L M.
I put down the phone, I had one of them tugging at my leg whingeing, another one had a nappy accident, it was lunch time soon and I just couldn’t process the news.
I didn’t yell, or cry, in fact I just went really quiet and sat on the couch and stared blankly at the wall and allowed myself to just feel a bit shit for a moment before tending to them.
That’s what can be so hard, trying to help our littles process their emotions when we don’t get a moment to process our own.
You don’t stub your toe and say “oh f*ck ... hey at least I have toes”.
Or have a horrible day at work and not talk about it because well... at least you have a job.
Why should motherhood be any different? Without the guilt of saying at the end “but I wouldn’t have it any other way”. Of course you wouldn’t!!! You bloody love those little guys!
Children’s feelings don’t need fixing, they need to be felt.
And so do ours, it’s not all too different.
We all need a moment to just FEEL.
So I’ll keep sharing.
It’s important to talk about the highs, it’s just as important to talk about the lows.
That’s not complaining- that’s feeling.