'Ollie the Owl sits next to my bed. He’s blue, he’s always blue.
I know I need to wait for him to be orange. But when I wake up and he’s still blue it feels lonely and somehow colder than before. The room feels so big suddenly, and it feels like something is missing. It’s my mum.
I used to call out when I was much smaller, but now I just wander down the hallway, my cuddly in my hand dragging on the carpet behind me. I hope they’re not mad with me, I do this every night.
I know they’d rather I stay in my own bed. I have a sticker chart on the fridge, but it’s still empty. Mum somehow always knows I’m coming before I get there, she’s usually sitting up ready, and I’m relieved when she’s not annoyed.
I stand in the doorway and she nudges Daddy who gets up, he doesn’t say much, he makes some noises and gets my blankets and puts them on the mattress. It just stays in their room now, which I like.
Sometimes if my baby sister isn’t awake I climb into bed next to her and she pulls the covers back for me, and I feel a bit like a baby myself. Everything feels right again.
Mummy asks me sometimes in the morning why I keep coming in, I don’t know how to put it into words. But just knowing she’s with me makes me feel warm inside, like coming home. A bit like solving a problem. She’s quite amazing at making the monsters go away, I don’t even know how she does it. But just being next to her is enough.
Maybe it won’t always be so simple. But right now it is. So I let out a deep breath and fall asleep in safety. knowing these moments will become memories. Of a mattress that’s always waiting. And a mum who is too.'
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It's hard to remember the magic during these sleepless nights, but I hope this helps. If you loved this, you can print these words here
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