Adding a new family member - what they don't tell you...

It’s the part in between the joy of introducing your newest family member, and everything falling into place.

It’s that part.

The part where everything feels out of sync and you’re alone in your thoughts late at night.

The part where the pain of feeding has you snapping at everyone around you, even losing patience with your older children, the ones who you so desperately miss.

The part where guilt sets in, where you watch your youngest become an older sibling overnight and somehow they feel so much bigger in your arms.

The part where you mother across coffee tables, through walls, and from couches. Where you’re right there but feeling more distant than ever.

The part where you know you’re meant to be soaking this all in, these precious days of grief and joy, of mourning and awe. The compromise of a heart that can hurt and burst.

The part where you fear you’ll miss things, not just outings, but moments, the ones that line your soul. Mood shifts, achievements, as we learn things about someone new do we miss things about those that have become a part of us?

I know your heart multiplies, I know it’s a season. I know it won’t always be tired smiles and, “wait a minute’s” but this grief still matters.

It’s this part, the part in between the joy and new normal.

The loving and longing.

The part no one talks about.

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