My back is sore from the constant baby wearing, and I’m officially broken from the lack of sleep.
Regardless of how much I adore our moments in the quiet of the night, the pieces have been unravelling.
Even the kind gesture of making me a cup of coffee makes me want to cry.
I’m up every 1-2 hours with the baby, my daughter is sleeping next to me because she’s “scared of zombies”. Husband is asleep with my son in the other room. It’s a circus at the moment and the holidays aren’t helping.
Hearing “mummy” on repeat is currently making my skin crawl, even though I adore the crap out of that word, and hearing, “play with me” makes me stop and clench my eyes shut because I don’t have time to set up some intricate mouse trap board game while baby wearing and then actually play it. The logistics of me getting down on the ground don’t even work right now.
I’m holding it together because I have to, because I know it’s the sleep regression and the growth spurt and all the things that causes a baby to wake up a gazillion times in the night. I’m holding it together because despite how I feel I still want to remain responsive to her, and also say “I’m tired, I’m really tired and need a moment”.
So this is for those who are currently awake at 11pm, 12:30am, 2:00am and 4:00am then up for the day at 6:00am…(especially for those parenting multiples)
For those who want to gentle parent but cannot tap into that calm right now.
For those who feel like they aren’t giving enough to anyone but who are constantly giving.
For those who have whingeing ringing in their ears and even your own voice annoys you.
For those who have said, “stop yelling please” while yelling themselves.
Yep it’s a season.
Just letting you know you’re not alone.
This is the hard part. I know it passes.
You can say it’s hard, and exhausting, and you feel a bit broken by it all without saying, “but I love them and wouldn’t change it…”
I know.
I’m in it with you.