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  • Writer's pictureJessica Urlichs

These Days...

Updated: Jan 9, 2021

These days a bed with us both

doesn’t need a baby between

For us to be separate

or feel unseen.

A thought of you is quickly replaced

About them, or the chores

Or shrugging off your embrace.

Never far from apart

As you pull me in close

A beautiful battle

of who needs me the most.

My energy drained bit by bit

My arms pulled to elastic

My hair fraying like a ragdoll

What to do with your compliments

When my reflection’s so fragile.

It’s not your fault

You see me the same

Mum, Mummy, babe, Mummy, Honey

I’ve forgotten my name.

My heart is so full yet it’s still healing

I open my mouth and speak

words with no feeling.

We talk when it’s dark and all is done

Once the trials from the day

are razor sharp on my tongue.

And to extend further warmth

just feels like a chore

There’s no pictures of just us

on my phone anymore

And it’s not that I don’t love you, I do,

more than ever.

It’s the ships we’ve become,

drifting off in the weather.

And I long to fall into those arms

so much

But I don’t quite know what to do

with your touch.

I know beautiful and ragged

become one in the same

when we speak of mothers,

when we speak of this change.

It shouldn’t be such an effort should it?

To be a mother a wife a lover

and everything I was before and after.

I love how you try,

with all of your strength

To break down my walls,

while my arm holds our length.

It’s all I imagined,

bum pats over dishes

While our babes are tucked up,

it’s not perfect, yet it is.

I watched you with the kids the other night

It felt warm in my chest, everything felt right.

I smiled.

tell him

Tell Him.

You looked up

And I swallowed.

“Are you taking out the bins?”

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