• Jessica Urlichs

Apologies to a Two Year Old




It was one of those days, I had a pit in my stomach, I wasn’t winning and the rainclouds were following me.


The lights were red. I was tense, my foot hard on the break.


“I just wanted to apologise for earlier”, I started, “I was wrong to yell. Sometimes I lose my cool and it wasn’t your fault.

It wasn’t your fault at all.”


I flicked up the window wipers as the weather got heavier.


“When you came through Holly’s door to tell me about spilling your milk... it woke Holly. I was upset and I yelled. We were all tired, weren’t we?”

Silence.

Apart from the humming traffic, all in our own little worlds, all on different journeys.

I wondered how many other apologies were currently being given to two year olds in cars right now.


“I made a mistake”, I continued. “I don’t always get it right, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I feel really sad that I upset you.”


The wipers guided the splashes away as my sleeve did the same.


I turned around to him and held his hand, he squeezed mine back.


“I’m Sorry”, I said watching him.


He held on, his little fingers were so soft, I have to remember how little they are I thought.


I could see he was thinking.


“Mummy, it’s Okay”, he said at last in his triumphant voice with those perfect inflections.


“I’ll try better, promise”.


I hope he knows I mean it.


I turned back around, foot relaxing off the break as the lights turned green.


“Mummy?”

.

“Yes Harry”?


“It’s not sunny today, Mummy”


“No darling, it’s not”.

.

But I could see it peeking through.

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