I put all of me into motherhood,
But motherhood is not all of me
Yes they complete me, though I was never empty.
Yes I do it for them, but I do things for me too.
Yes they make me happier than I’ve ever been, but I remember the things that used to make me laugh, and they still do, though I forgot for a while.
Postpartum felt rather long for me with two back to back, it took a while to emerge.
It’s funny how your heart can shatter and expand in equal measure watching them grow, but this is how it’s meant to be, and if I’m honest, I’m a better mother now that I feel more me.
I remember going to my Mums netball games as a young girl, I would sit and watch her, see how happy it made her.
I remember how it made me feel happy too.
It’s important they see the me before mum, she may have changed a little, but she’s there, she matters.
They’ll always know I live for them, but not in the way that sounds, that’s a real weight to bear. I’d do anything for them, but I want them to see me living for me, so that one day that’s what they’ll do too.
So yes, I can say they’re my every breath while needing a moment alone to breathe too.
I can say I put all of me into motherhood, but motherhood is not all of me.
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